Between Two Worlds

The movers will be at our door in less than 2 weeks to pack up our house! In less than 4 weeks, we’ll officially be boots on the ground in West Africa. I get butterflies every day. It’s so thrilling and exciting and sad and gut wrenching all at the same time. Leaving and arriving. Loss and gain. Grief and joy. Saying goodbye, saying hello. I feel torn between two worlds every single day, tying up all the loose ends here in Houston, while simultaneously texting/calling/emailing all our contacts and friends-in-the-making in the expat community in Ghana. Every day is a juggling act between the two. Making sure everyone has their final dentist/orthodontist/eye/vaccine appointments here, but texting a million and one questions to the embassy community while sitting in those waiting rooms. What items can I absolutely not get in Ghana that I need to make sure to add to my consumables? Who do I contact about setting up the right beds in the right bedrooms for the kids in our new house? Texting mom friends, trying to make sure all my kids squeeze in as many playdates as they can with their friends here before we have to say goodbye, then immediately texting the Ghanaian housekeeper/cook we have hired to work out final contract details. Figuring out the details of selling both of our vehicles here, then glancing through the bimonthly embassy newsletter, hoping to find a vehicle to buy from a family PCS-ing from Ghana this summer. Listing various items in our house on Facebook marketplace, while also buying things for our house in Ghana, like area rugs to make the 3 stories of tile floor feel more warm and homey. Taking deep breaths in carline as I pick up the kids from their school here, one last time. And filling out forms so they can ride the bus to their new school in August.

This will probably be our hardest move, as we are such newbies and I don’t actually know how to do any of this! Like the consumables shipment. The government will pay for us to ship 2,500 lbs of consumable items to Ghana that we either can’t get there or are very expensive because of the cost of importing them. I bought a few hundred dollars worth of items, thinking that was a good start. But when the movers came to do their pre-packout survey, the very kind woman who was in charge looked at my pile spread along 6 feet of the entry hallway and said “oh, get WAY more. This is probably about 200 lbs of stuff, you can have 2500.” Basically the goal is to get TWO YEARS WORTH of laundry detergent, dishwasher soap, olive oil, etc. etc. So I got to work and for a few days there, I would open my front door to find Sam’s Club delivery boxes piled higher than me! Sam’s Club probably wonders what the HELL I am doing. Who needs 468 Tide Pods, 15 lbs of chocolate chips, and 11 bottles of shampoo? Me. I do.

Or how to hire full time household help. Definitely never done that before. Thankfully, embassy families who are getting ready to leave advertise for their staff, hoping to secure them jobs with new families instead of leaving them unemployed. I am so grateful for the sweet family that guided me through the process of hiring their housekeeper/cook/nanny. I would be totally lost trying to figure out appropriate wages, a contract, how to pay for healthcare, how to pay into Ghana’s social security system, etc. without the help of other foreign service families who I will never even get to meet in person. I’ve been able to talk to our warm, friendly Ghanaian employee a couple times over the phone, and I can’t wait to meet her in person!

Then there’s the endless explanations, sometimes serious, sometimes humorous in their shocking strangeness. The other day I was at the grocery store, stuffing 12 packages of Knorr creamy chicken and rice sides in my cart for the consumables shipment. A stranger in the aisle said “oh wow! You’re getting a lot of those, must be really good! I guess I should try those!” There’s always a moment in these situations where I pause, contemplating whether I should tell the whole shocking truth, or just nod and smile. In this instance, I went for the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. “Well actually, we’re moving to Africa and my husband’s employer will ship over food items that we can’t get over there, so that’s why I’m stockpiling them.” People are NEVER expecting that answer. And this scenario happens almost daily. Doctor offices wanting to schedule follow up appointments. Sorry nope, can’t, moving to Africa. Pest control companies knocking on our door to get us to sign up. Nope, sorry, we’re moving. “Oh, that’s okay! We service all of Houston.” “No, we’re moving to AFRICA.” People handing out info on summer camps for the kids or Julianna’s ballet teacher encouraging us to continue ballet classes next year. Nope, sorry, Africa. Shocked/stunned looks every time.

Sometimes the vastness of it all overwhelms me. Recently, over the span of 5 days, we had car trouble THREE times. The second time, I had all 4 kids loaded up in the van, ready to go to school and the thing refused to even start (turned out to be the battery, unrelated to the other issues). SO THANKFUL for all the friends who have rescued me multiple times now, as Don is still far far away. Later that morning, after a friend had taken the kids to school, I found myself crying in the shower. It just hit me, the weight of two worlds. Of trying to wrap up the lives of 6 people on one continent, and begin them on another. Of doing it alone. But the other thing that made me cry was sheer amazement and gratitude at the love shown by people we are about to leave. A friend had made a page where people could sign up to bring us meals or take our kids for us for a day during these last 2 weeks in Houston. People were offering help left and right. Just a couple days before that, Julianna had asked about a framed map that we have on the wall, a map of Panama City, Florida. I took it down to show her, and then read all the messages our friends from there had written on the back of it at our goodbye party. It makes me tear up just writing this, the harsh reality of getting to know people, intertwining your life with theirs, loving them, and then walking away. Again and again. I wonder if it ever gets easier, or if there’s always a pang of sadness every time you think of friends from a certain place you’ve left.

Our kids handled the move from Florida to Houston pretty well, but our oldest 2 have really been struggling with this one. I know its their age, that they’re just more aware this time, less childlike and care free. It’s hard, trying to care for them emotionally while also being overwhelmed, stressed, and feeling all the emotions yourself. I try my best to hide the stress and my own emotional overwhelm in front of them. They need to believe that mom and dad got this, even when we don’t feel like we do!

Don will finally, FINALLY be home in less than a week!!! We will then attempt to blitz through our house over the next 5 days, packing luggage and separating every other item we own into what is being sent by air, what is being sent by sea, and what is going to storage. After the movers pack out all our stuff, we’re off to DC for a bit, then on to Accra, Ghana!

I find it fascinating that this journey really began on Pentecost weekend 4 years ago (see In the Beginning), when we decided to let the Holy Spirit guide our family in the decision to adopt this crazy lifestyle. I still remember that night so vividly, Don and I wrestling with the choice, and eventually surrendering control. And now here we are, 4 years later, with Pentecost weekend approaching again (this weekend), making the final preparations to set off overseas, the adventure a direct result of that choice to surrender 4 years ago. He held us then and He is holding us now. Please continue to pray for us!

Let the adventure begin!