Time flies so incredibly fast! I am astounded that we are approaching our 1 year mark of living in Ghana at the end of June, which will also mark the halfway point of this tour. Lately, I’ve been posting about some of our big trips and adventures. While those are “mountain top moments”, 90% of our time is spent in the daily grind of home/work/play in Accra. So I thought I’d tell a few tales that hopefully paint a picture of what that daily life is like here, of what makes us laugh, cry, (and sometimes scream into a pillow) on a daily basis.
First, our house. Sigh. I mentioned a few of the quirks of the house when we first moved here. Sadly, conditions have continued to deteriorate, not just in our house, but in every occupied house in the compound, to the point that the embassy is moving us to a DIFFERENT house in a different compound this summer. That will make 3 moves in the span of 2 years. At least we’re forced to continually purge all of our excess junk? Our biggest issue is that our master bathroom shower/tub (which sits directly above the kitchen), leaks profusely, and we had to stop using the master bathroom altogether months ago, as the damage to the kitchen ceiling was worsening, and water had started spreading down a corner of the kitchen wall as well. If we had continued using the bathroom, the kitchen ceiling would have eventually collapsed. Now, the embassy does have whole facilities management and housing sections, but after inspecting the bathroom, the local Ghanaian staff have said that they do not know how to fix the issue, and further investigation would require major demolition, which the embassy is unwilling to do at this point. So we’ve just been using the kids’ showers.
Other issues include multiple shelves collapsing in the kitchen cabinets, water leaking through the second floor balcony into our master bedroom wall, mold growing on walls, and soooo many power outages, sometimes with the generator malfunctioning as well. And we are the LUCKY ones. Other houses in this compound have multiple bathrooms leaking into ceilings, rampant mold, and multiple roof leaks where water pours down the walls every time it rains (and we just entered the rainy season). So, finally, the embassy has decided enough is enough, and is moving all occupants out this summer. This is such a quick tour, I don’t know that we’ll ever get to the point of feeling really “settled” in Ghana!
Housing issues aside, Ghana, even though its considered “Africa lite”, is most definitely a “harder” place to live in than the States. Absolutely everything seems to take longer and is much more complicated than in the US. Here is a hilarious story that perfectly illustrates one of what I like to call our “Ghana days.”
In December, a fellow embassy spouse and I, with the help of family and friends, were able to grant the Christmas wishes of ALL the kids at the orphanage! One teenage girl’s dream was to get braces to fix her teeth and improve her self confidence. Through very generous donations, I was able to get the money required for the braces, and at the end of December, I met this girl (we’ll call her Mary, though that’s not her real name) and John, the founder of the orphanage, at a dental teaching clinic to get a mold made of her teeth.
1st struggle of the day: Conquering my mild anxiety of driving there.
Struggle #2: Being stared at. Some places in Accra have plenty of foreigners milling about and I barely feel out of place. Other areas not so much, and it is in these places that the Sesame Street song “One of These Things” gets stuck on repeat in my head as I try to ignore the many pairs of watching eyes.
“One of these things is not like the others
One of these things just doesn’t belong
Can you tell which thing is not like the other
By the time we finish our song?“
Korle Bu, a teaching hospital/dental school, is one such place. So the parking attendant (almost every business has a parking attendant, you’ll see why in a minute) stared at me, head cocked in curiosity, as if to ask if I was in the right place. After assuring him that yes, yes, I AM going to the dental clinic, he told me that there were no parking spots left, and had me double park, blocking in 2 other parked cars.
Parking (of sorts) accomplished, I went to the outside waiting area, where I found John and Mary. A specific Cuban dentist (friend to the Cubans we had painted the orphanage with) had agreed to do Mary’s dental work at a much lower cost, and had told us to meet her here. After a 15-20 minute wait, I tried to call her, with no response. After more waiting, she did eventually get ahold of John and told us to go ahead and walk into the treatment room and tell them who we were. I did so, and they told me that I needed to go retrieve Mary’s records from a different building and come back.
Struggle #3: Overcomplication and extreme inefficiency. I walked to the other building to get her records, but they said I needed the little pink card they had given Mary the last time she was here. Sigh. Walked back to John, asked him if he had the card. No, he did not. (I don’t blame him, I struggle to remember to bring everything my 4 kids need, how is he supposed to remember every detail for over 60 kids??). He did get someone at the orphanage to text him a picture of the pink card, however, which he then sent to me. I walked BACK to the other building, where they were upset with me for only having the picture and not the actual card. (More staring. There was a waiting room of about 30 Ghanaians watching this entire interaction). Thankfully, they relented and accepted it. Okay, BACK to the treatment area, records in hand.
Struggle #4: Re-park. Somewhere in the middle of all of the above struggle, that parking attendant came to find me. “Please madam, you need to move your car.” Turns out one of the cars he had double parked me in front of needed to get out. Ugggghhhh. So I ran back to the parking lot to park. AGAIN. And he made me reverse into a cramped parking spot, which always makes me super nervous because I hate driving backward. But I handled that reverse parking like a boss and returned to my dental dilemma.
Struggle #5. Bribery always causes additional problems. As the dental staff began examining Mary’s mouth, they asked if she had had an x-ray done last time she was here. I had been here that time as well and she HAD had an x-ray done. But they didn’t seem to have a record of it. Then the image hit me. The image of a tiny x-ray room at the end of a hallway, painted such a vivid blue I will never forget it. Dark lighting combined with the paint giving the room an underwater feel. Me, covertly shelling out cedis to the x-ray tech, Anet (the Cuban friend I had painted the orphanage with) doing the talking, in that blue underwater x-ray room, acutely aware that I felt like I was purchasing drugs instead of an x-ray. I knew why they didn’t have a record on file. Because we had bribed the x-ray tech to do it “off the record” for half price. The tech had agreed to send the x-ray results straight to the Cuban dentist, rather than us paying double that amount to the dentist office to have it done “officially.” So, the Cuban dentist had the x-ray results, but the office did NOT. As I was frantically trying to think how to reply to the staff asking about the x-ray, THANK GOD the Cuban dentist FINALLY showed up (45 minutes late), and handled the situation.
Struggle #6: More overcomplication and inefficiency (this is a staple of Ghana life). Great, got the x-ray figured out. However, before they did the mold of Mary’s teeth, they required me to pay for it and provide them proof of payment. Guess we’re not going the bribery route this time. This meant I had to walk back to the other records building (aaggaaaainnnnn), pay the 250 cedis, and then return with the receipt. Payment made (officially this time), the dental mold was completed and our business was FINALLY finished.
Almost.
Struggle #7: Parking (AGAIN). I walked out to the parking lot to find that the parking attendant had double parked another car…in front of mine. So before I could head home from the world’s most complicated dentist appointment, I had to wait for him to go find the owner of THAT car to repark it. Its times like these that I remember good ‘ol American road trips with our family of 7, parking our grandpa’s RV in massive Walmart parking lots and sleeping there to save on campground costs. Yes, the light from the neon Walmart sign blazed in through the windows all night, but I miss that view…a veritable ocean of empty parking spots, enough for RVs AND all the shoppers, with hundreds left to spare! Parking lots. Of all the things to miss, I miss parking lots.
ALL of the above is an example of just ONE dentist appointment, ONE day in Ghana. Many errands considered simple in the US require this much effort. I have been searching to find new tires for our car (that are not short-lasting super cheap brands) for WEEKS. I have physically been to 2 tire shops and sent Whats App messages to several more, repeatedly. Still no luck. I managed to find a cake accessories store to buy piping bags for frosting so I could decorate a birthday cake. Only to find, as I went to place the frosting in them, that the sides of the piping bags had melted together from the heat of being transported from wherever it is they came from. And were entirely un-useable.
The SAME day as the dentist appointment, Don brought home packages from the embassy (they have their own mailroom where all our mail is sent). I was SO excited, my mom had sent us a package of her homemade caramels that she makes every Christmas!! We could still redeem this Ghana day! BUT, we opened the box only to find that someone else’s package of laundry detergent had exploded/spilled all over our package. And we now had laundry detergent flavored caramels. These are just a few examples, the unique frustrations and things that can and do go wrong in Ghana are truly endless. I’ve gotten to the point now that I just expect simple things to be difficult, complicated, and time consuming, and am pleasantly surprised on the rare occasions when they are not!
Before I make you pity us too much, know that there are plenty of positives here. The kids’ school is phenomenal, I am more impressed by them every day. We have found community, between the embassy, church, and the school. The American Embassy Association hosts plenty of fun events, like movie nights, kid play dates, and trivia nights. There are even a few fancy restaurants around, although they are EXPENSIVE. Our kids have ample opportunities to continuously learn more about new cultures and now have friends from all over the world. Dominic says he’s learning Russian from one friend and Hebrew from another. In the month of May alone our kids attended Kiwi (New Zealand), Ghanaian, Lebanese, Indian, and American birthday parties.
Don’s life at work is absolutely bonkers, and he is busy ALL the time. But the perks of living in Ghana have allowed me to slow down and pursue my own interests at length for the first time in many years. In Ghana, we can afford full time help (something we could NEVER have in the States). I think I’ve only folded laundry twice in the past year, I make dinner only once or twice a week, I haven’t cleaned a single bathroom or mopped a single floor. And when Ghana days got me feeling overwhelmed, I can come home from the dentist and just stare at the wall to decompress instead of jumping straight into dishes and cleaning.
I love having the time to volunteer for the orphanage (I am currently raising funds for them to purchase a bus, I will paste the link to the GoFundMe below!). I volunteer at the kids’ school often and help out with embassy needs, such as bake sales to raise money for the annual Marine Ball, or helping new families get settled in Ghana through the social sponsor program. I finally have the time to workout multiple times a week, and our compound has a gym!!! (Though let me tell you, you don’t want to be at a full out run on a treadmill when the power abruptly cuts off, ask me how I know). I actually have time to sit and read books, my absolute favorite hobby (and have found 2 book clubs to join here). I LOVE the constant tropical sunshine flowing through the big windows in our house, being warm 24/7/365, and the fact that I can toss my kids out the door in shorts and a t-shirt every single day of the year. Just when you think Ghana is going to break you, it manages to throw you a bone!
So yes, there are plenty of days when I feel the frustrations building ever higher, when I just want to live in a house that’s not falling apart, go to the dentist without bribing someone, eat caramels that are NOT covered in laundry detergent, and just park the damn car. This week our 4 year old was scootering around the house and told me goodbye. When I asked her where she was going, she said “America!” I laughed, but as we approach that one year mark, sometimes I find myself longing for America too. It is a constant struggle in this life to enjoy where you’re at, instead of always looking forward to the next move, the next adventure, the next culture. Trying to remind myself to do just that, as I know this next year will fly too.
For those who are curious, we will find out where our next destination is sometime this fall. About this time next year, we’ll be packing up to move again, hopefully with a long summer stay in the US between posts. The next post will be a 2 year assignment as well, though following that they will most likely be 3 years, possibly 4 if we end up somewhere we love and try to extend.
Still so thankful for this crazy life, even the tough days, as it makes us appreciate where we came from. Here’s to one more year of soaking up sunshine and Ghana days!
Link to the bus fundraiser for the orphanage for those interested: